On Girls who shoot their shots

In honour of it being a leap year when apparently western tradition okays women proposing marriage, on the last day of the month of love, I give you the post I have been mulling over all month.

So, urban dictionary defines shooting your shot as "To let go of your pride and pursue someone you are interested in. For example: "He hasn't made the first move yet, so I'll have to shoot my shot and slide up into them DMs"

I have never been particularly patient with regards to matters of the heart, so sitting idly by waiting to see if someone likes me too, has never been been my style.  If I like you enough, you will eventually know.

The first time I expressed my feelings for the male species was in a letter I hid inside a textbook I borrowed to "study" for an exam in 9th grade. I had my own assigned textbook but I needed an opening seeing as I haven't been in this guy's vicinity since 7th grade and we went to different high schools. When I returned the book, I gave it to his sister because he was not home, so I am not even sure if he got my letter. I had little to no expectations of anything coming out of the venture but I was tired of mooning over the same guy for four years, I needed to act! It's either he liked me, highly unlikely, or he didn't and I can put my overthinking, overactive mind to rest. I never heard from him again.

The last time I asked a guy out, I slide into his DMs and asked him out on a date, and we went to dinner, it went great, I loved every minute.

I am a card carrying feminist and I am for empowering a woman to be bold and go for what she wants. I am not very patient nor can I honestly sit back (waiting to be chosen) and watch who I want prance in front of me without doing anything. However, that is not the entire story.

Sometimes, I take a leap so I can break my own heart, unrequited feelings are the absolute ghetto, sometimes I can tell that he doesn't like me that way but I can't reconcile my heart to this fact. So I put on my big girl panties, take a deep breath and dive in, head first, eyes closed, hoping against hope that he feels the same way too because if I am going to do something, I will do it wholeheartedly.

The rest of the time, I thought it may possibly lead somewhere. I am single, so you see how well that has worked out for me.

I have been ghosted, stood up and ridiculed. In 9th grade, later that same year I wrote my first letter, I wrote a note to my crush, he was in my class. I actually thought he liked me, we got on well enough, he even paid special attention me, or so I thought... Anyway he shared the note and by theend of the day, the entire class knew. I did not live that down for two years. In 10th grade, another crush, this time from youth group, compared me to my skinny friend and told me I should "dress like her", two weeks after being rejected when I pulled him aside after church and confessed my undying love. Someone say insensitive!
Two years ago, I blogged about  this one time I was ghosted, after I was done being salty here.

Amongst the things I have done have included writing letters and notes. Writing and performing poems for love interests (who did not show up to the show), asking out said guy on a date and yes, paying for it. Making a playlist for a good friend and then asking him how he feels about me, and once, I slid into his DMs First.  I am also guilty of fasting and praying for a week before talking to him. I fasted, a dry fast just water, for a week. I am in awe of myself!


In all my misadventures, I have always made my intentions very clear. "I like like you, do you like like me too and maybe want to be with me? "

I don't know how other girls do it, but I tell you, this is some of what I have done.... So, now you know,  we are not unicorns, girls who shoot their shots, we are real, and more than you think we are. And just maybe around the corner.