Took an L

So I'm checking my outfit in the mirror on my way out and I think to myself "I'm too hot to be ghosted". And I really am! Hot, that is. 

I'm funny, intelligent, independent, charming, witty, compassionate, really overall just a fucking stellar person. My mother will testify to my awesomeness and it's no secret that I am my father's favourite. I mean, I know I'm also lazy, don't do housework or make my bed, pretty much fucked up most of my friendships due to this thing called clinical depression and I can also be a bitch.

But I swear the good far outweighs the bad. And I am super aware of my faults and actively working on my childhood trauma. I apologize when I'm wrong and I'm in therapy! Who wouldn't want to date me? If I could, I would marry me, I'm a real catch.

So you can imagine it only took my empowered feminist self a full month to finally gather the courage to tell the male friend I've been crushing on all damn year that I like like him. The way I did it was chicken but I did it.

I spend all evening with him and just as we were about to part ways, I tell him I like him. He's obviously shocked and tells me that he was not expecting that. Because you know, men are perfectly capable of being friends with women and have no ulterior motives. He says he will call me, so I wait and wait, I wait all weekend, I wait the Monday but by Tuesday I've understood, he isn't going to actually call.

 I understand but I'm hurt. I'm hurt because I guess he doesn't care enough to tell me that he doesn't feel the same way. I knew I was taking a risk but I most certainly did not anticipate to be ghosted. 

I am however not angry because no one is entitled to reciprocated feelings. He is under no obligation to like me. You see what I won't do is blow up his phone or call him incessantly (that is called harassment) because I understand boundaries and I have the balls to handle rejection like a woman. 

What I did do was respect his wishes and left him the hell alone. You see, I think he'll call, eventually, when he's ready (I'm not holding my breath though). The truth is, he's a fucking amazing guy and I am perfectly okay with remaining JUST FRIENDS. 

And if he doesn't call I will live, my therapist and I got this.

You see boys and girls, there's absolutely no need for me to turn into a stalker, spread lies or resort to violence. Be like me, handle it like a mature adult. 

I will however relish in the awkward moment that will be the next time I run into him, because I am petty like that.