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Showing posts from December, 2017

You should marry her instead

I won't do the dishes, I'll leave them in the sink for 2 days. You'll get sick of them and do them yourself. I won't pick up after myself and I only do the laundry when I have nothing else to wear.  I do not cook. I'll grab an apple and make a pot of tea if I'm hungry, you cook. She cooks and cleans and makes the bed every morning. You should marry her instead, she makes a better wife. I'm anti social, temperamental and sometimes just bitchy. Your friends will love me but I'll be in the bedroom when they come to visit. She's social and a very good host. She's the better choice. I'll frustrate and irritate you needlessly, I'll work on your nerves and I won't even know it. I'll be sorry for a little while then I'll forget. I'm self absorbed and very selfish. I'll think about me before you. I won't pause the movie when you use the loo and I'll continue to watch the series without you when you're at w

Dear Future Boyfriend

Dear Future Boyfriend If you've read my blog then you must think I'm still in love with my ex, well that's not true, not anymore. I care about him-ish, I think he's a great guy but there's absolutely nothing between us, Nada, not a thing. He's the guy I still talk about because he's the only love  I've known.  He's moved on and so have I. It may appear that I'm still holding on to an idea of us because starting over with someone new scares the hell out of me, like bat sh!t crazy scary. So chill, I'm over that guy, he's past tense, you're the future babe. {Edit June 2018:I don't talk about him anymore}. Anyway, now that is out of the way, here is a guide to tell if I like you. Knowing me, you'll need a cheat sheet. 1. We are still talking I'm a terrible texter, I hate it. So if we are exchanging messages at least twice a day, I like you. If I call you in response to a text, I really like you (sorry it took 3 hou