Unfiltered Thoughts

Writers can be such dramatic creatures. I need more of them in my life, they would understand me. We feel things deeply, the pain churning in our souls makes for the best, most honest pieces we'll ever written. I'm sitting on the living room floor because my flatmate moved out today with his couch and my heart. It's funny, I didn't realise I was falling for him until it was too late. I spent months on that couch with him, slowly, unwittingly learning to love him. I learnt to watch television again, I started following his shows, even got caught up in a few of my own. I'm on the verge of tears, always on the verge, never crying. Even as my heart breaks and my soul screams for release, I still don't cry. I'll get new furniture sometime this week. I should put up a notice for a new roommate soon, he has gone.  He moved to the other side of the city, he has. It doesn't seem like much but I'm dreading not coming home to him everyday, is it still hom

I know that now. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. You’ve already shown me that you will never do that to me. It’s not who you are, but you need to know that my defenses go up when my feathers are ruffled, and I’m stubborn and I can be savagely strong when I need to be. So I need to know that if that happens, if I get scared and those walls go up, you’ll love me through it?

I ripped from her the last of her armour and she came apart. She stood before me bare, naked, her soul uncovered and for the first time I saw her as she truly was. Her defences down, she let me in as she reflected the smile that was creeping on my face. I understood her, that girl in the mirror.

You'll find me by the bar  nursing a glass of Coke Staring into the abyss Lost in the blackhole of daydreams Encapsulated in a cacoon of broken dreams. An hour later You'll find me by the stage Dancing to the rythym the live band plays Lost in the tune of hopes and dreams Shaking, shimmying, Groving It's a spiritual awakening The Gods of my fathers have heard my silent plea By midnight You'll find me in a dark corner Locking lips, morphing into one being with a fine looking chap, Tugging on his shirt, pulling him closer It's a marriage of strangers' souls I don't even know his name, but I'll write about him in my journal But not even an hour later You'll find me outside the establishment Hailing a cab by myself The man whose soul I sucked out with my lips will remain a pleasant memory The women whose friendship I made I'll probably never call I'll be back in two-three months to do this again To forget myself To r

Hey You How are you doing? Hope you're better than I am today. I'm feeling like the weather, gloomy. The words I am about to write to you should probably be only uttered in my shrink's office but that appointment is in two weeks and I am impatient. So bare with me, this is more therapeutic than anything. Also, I hope you never read this, really. I'm going to pretend you won't and pour my heart out; you probably wont, please don't. So the first time I heard about you, I was deeply hurt, I didn't know your name or what kind of woman you were. All I knew is my ex, your boyfriend, moved on pretty quickly from me. I know I had no right, seeing as I left him but it hurt like a bitch. You see, I was still as in love with him as the day I met him, he was still my sun, moon and stars. I hoped you were temporary, a rebound but you turned out to be much much more. I'd chosen to put both of you on the back burner till I graduated because thinking of you lead