Unfiltered Thoughts

  I've never been benevolent, every time I did something seemingly altruistic was because I had something to gain. Whether it be tangible or the pleasure of calling myself a good person and a responsible and civic citizen. My conversations at work about sexism and gender roles are motivated by the fact that I am a woman and I stand to benefit. I can now ask senior male colleagues to make me a cup of coffee and get one without much ado. Paraphrasing WAP: " I don't cook, I don't clean but I got a man " Let the patriarchy suck on that! Quite honestly, I was simply tired of hearing the homophobic and/or Christian centered narrative anytime anything gay came up. I know my "Jesus before good morning" folks haven't changed their views on the LGTBQI+ community but they have certainly changed the way they speak about them, at least in my presence; one person's sexual orientation has nothing

There's so much I want to share with you  I've never been eager to show anyone my broken pieces you just kind of stumble upon them  I try not to cut anyone  I want to share with you my broken parts and I want to see the parts of your soul that are too.  And the whole bits. Everything, I want to experience you, your everything.

  I tell him my favourite color is black, like my soul.  He chuckles disbelieving  Says no I allow it.  I'm too happy ignoring the trauma that's brewing underneath He lets me sleep in his bed and cuddled up with him because I am always cold, always freezing I hold him close and hear my heart open and almost weep Deep breaths, it's going to be okay, it will be alright  He let me fall in love with him and he pulled the rug from beneath me  Like jumping into a pool thinking there's water only to fall on shards of broken glass,  The pool is empty.  I'm not sure I'm the type of girl that will ever find love, maybe I am too broken Mommy left, daddy drank and I've been searching for home ever since My secret dream is to be have a happy home I saw that home in you, so don't ask me why I can't just walk away….  I know better than to hang around waiting for you to be ready But   The thought of leaving you physically hurts,  My chest burns My  lungs collapse  M