Purely Platonic:Just Friends

Can men and women just be friends? That is an apparently hard question to answer. Can two single, relatively attractive people of the opposite sex just be friends and nothing more? The answer to this question from my personal experience is I don't know, maybe?

 Word of caution, if you're interested in dating one of the two friends, look closely, very closely. Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point.

Once upon a time on a university campus in Windhoek there was a girl who met a guy. The girl and guy somehow became friends, the girl doesn't remember how. They were both involved in campus ministry, they saw each other most days of the week and they both went to the same non-denominational bible study in the park on Saturdays. They called and texted each other all the time, the girl liked they guy very much and suspected that the guy liked her too. However they guy never made a move and soon the girl grew disillusioned, maybe the guy didn't like her like that. The girl put some distance between them and they went back to being people who hang out  with the same people. The girl struggled to get over her feelings, she never completely did. Once in awhile they would talk, they guy even said that he missed her "monologues"referring to their phone calls. Years passed and stuff happened in the girl's life, she even had to move to a coastal town for a while.

One day she met a different guy and instantly fell in love with him. For the first time in her life. she was completely in love and she was loved too. The guy became  prominent figure in her life again, his excuse was that he kept her at arm's length because he was afraid she was not over her feelings for him, he was not wrong.  In the second year of their acquaintance she had confessed her feelings to him; it was a desperate attempt to get over her feelings for him, and maybe she hoped he felt the same way too. He did not. Now that she was in a relationship with someone else he felt confident that all she felt was platonic and they became close again. He confessed that he at one point regretted turning her down when she told him how she felt. It was reassuring to know that he did feel the same way too, all those years ago, she wasn't delusional. But now she was with someone else and was very happy. He told her of the many crushes he developed and of the one girl he was in love with, they were merely platonic friends now. Years passed and her relationship with the other guy ended, which had nothing to do with their friendship. The girl was heartbroken but as her heart healed she wondered if the guy ever considered dating her. He is in love with a different girl now.

They are still good friends, if you asked the girl if she would date him, she'd tell you that she hasn't ruled out the possibility, however she knows that chances of that happening are next to zero. But if she was to be completely honest with you she'd tell you that she fears that the day he gets into a relationship, that will be the beginning of the end of their friendship. She'll tell you that she has a crush on one of his friends but  her crush will probably never look at her the same way because of the way she and her friend act around each other; they're touchy feely and give off a more than friends vibe whenever they are together. She wants to change that (she really doesn't) but doesn't know quite how.  The End.

So can men and women just be friends? Are these two just friends? You judge.