Unfiltered Thoughts

 I've spent my whole life trying to live up to the ideal of special, extraordinary. It is all I've ever known; I saw it in the protagonist of the books I have been reading since I discovered the library; these amazing men and women who were instantly recognized as something more by just being themselves.  It came from my teachers and peers who treated me like something more because I got the highest grades in my class "She will do great things." They said.  My pastors/spiritual leaders said I had a gift. I was a natural born leader. God created only one of me and there was a destiny only I could fulfil. It didn't hurt that I was pretty good at everything I tried. I got the complex from being the only girl growing up among boys and my parents' favourite child.  Everyone told me I was something and I believed them. That is until I hit my early twenties; I stopped doing all those things that people said made me special, I quit school, social circles, stopp...

Urban Dictionary Adulting (v): to do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups. I know it's part of the millennial trademark to complain about adulting and pat ourselves on the back when we do everyday tasks needed for survival like cooking a meal, doing laundry but we are really doing ourselves a disservice when we put up such posts on social media. Your biggest achievement to date is not doing your laundry, you are a highly competent legal researcher for Parliament;hashtag the career advancing moves instead. It's ironic how un-ironically we ironically use the term adulting. Being an adult is hard, learning to handle the challenges that come with this stage in our lives may take a few tries and plenty perseverance;however we are doing it and doing it fairly well. Even when we don't feel like #ADULTING we do, we get up and show up. You're an adult, it's ...

Last week when a senior colleague asked me when I'm going to get married and have kids, I said something that made me take pause. I said I can't even imagine having kids when I still feel like a kid myself. PAUSE, I'm in my late twenties, why do I still feel like a kid?  I did what every millennial would, I googled it... Apparently, it's a  thing. For some people, it's  psychological thing, adults with careers, kids, houses and spouses who feel like they are playing house and not grown up enough for these responsibilities. For others, they are literal children in adults bodies with mum and dad taking care of them. Apparently there's a generation (or a portion thereof) that refuses to grow up, no  mortgage, no marriage, no children and definitely no career plan. Crazy right? I feel like a kid playing grown up, the only thing I've checked off on the grown up list is a career, no mortgage, spouse or kids. This is such a first world problem though. Why ...