The One about Tinder Dates

My online dating experience started a couple of months ago when my Aunt Carol and I created accounts on an interracial dating site and Okcupid. She's had a strapping Englishman fly from Gatwick to Harare to see her after one week of voice calls and texting on WhatsApp, a Indian tycoon offer her a vacation in Bali and five marriage proposals that I know of; but who's counting? I haven't had quite the same success, it has been an interesting experience, from chatting to hot men across the Atlantic to receiving my first d*ck pic last night. Here are my top four  memorable dates.

1. He brought a friend along on the date

When he picked me up for the date, his friend was sitting shotgun. We were supposed to get ice cream but we ended up at Pepata, where we found three of his other friends and halfway through the night, he called and invited two more colleagues. I had a fun night, the food was great, the company splendid. Pity, we didn't exchange more then five words and  I actually connected better with his married friend who sat across from me. Oh well, he'll meet someone.

 Side Bar: Dear Third wheel guy, I'm a retired professional third wheeler, I felt for you when I realised what was happening. From a retired professional to a newbie, hang in there, he'll eventually learn to go on dates on his own; right Lee? 

2. I made out with a Nigerian guy under a brigde

Sounds racy eh? He was born in Nigeria, but he grew up in 3 other African countries, he's doing his Ph.D and he's easy on the eyes. The only reason he is included here is to make the count to four, most of the dates i've been on, most of the guys I've seen, have not been anything to write home or blog about.

 He was a typical metropolitan male, way too impressed with himself and expecting me to be as well.  I wouldn't mind sampling his lips, he made me feel things, good things. If he diaedl back the ego a bit, three or four notches and we may even go on a second date.

The Klein Windhoek taxi situation needs to be sorted real quick, a girl can't be waiting to hitch a ride for an hour at 11pm when I have to be up for work at four in the damned morning. My only consolation price, his lips.

This date brought me back to UNAM days when I had to struggle to get a cab to Tura and the "smart conscientious good looking" guys expected girls to fall over themselves for them. On the up side I finally bought a learner's manual.

3. He only dates black women

He seemed slimy from the get go, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I should have run for the hills when he said I look yummy, should've hailed a cab when he kept diverting the conversation to wanting to "taste my lips" but I wanted to finish my ice cream and hear his explanation for only dating black women. I should've known I was not going to get any answers when he got defensive and claimed he was not racist. Seems like a fetish to me, and if the shoe fits...

All I want to know is why limit yourself to one race? There's so much diversity out there. I've "dated" Indian, white (European, ain't nobody got time for boers!) black; anxiously looking forward to sampling latinos (or latinas).

4. He broke up with me after two weeks

In the words of  my friend Grace "He dumped my dumb a*s" in two weeks, two weeks!! I really, really liked him.  He was smart-ish and funny, very good looking.  And the sad thing is, in the past couple of months, he's the only guy I've met that I actually wanted more with. But that's what you get for only talking to a guy for a month and ignoring the warning signs that he may not be over his abusive ex-fiancee before taking the leap.

I learned that my heart's still beating and I'm very capable of wanting to commit, it just takes the right guy. In the meantime...