Giving love a 10th shot

I was sitting at Kramer’s last night with my Aunt Caroline disapprovingly watching her eat her waffles and a scoop of rum and raisin flavoured ice cream. One, she has the flu and two; it is the middle of winter! I was having the reasonable thing, having hot chocolate.

As we discussed her match on mingle2, it hit me; I’ve never met anyone as deliriously beautiful as she is. She has stars in her eyes when she talks about her “future husband”; listening to her talk you’d think she’s never been hurt in love. The pure unadulterated optimism for life and the joy in her voice is intoxicating. I want to be as young and free as the woman sitting across from me; twenty years my senior and divorced.

Her ex-husband was an abusive alcoholic and the divorce was messy, after 9 years of marriage, she walked away. In contrast I’ve been single for a full year since the end of May, after a 2 year relationship and I’ve got three years of unrequited love under my belt. I’ve been cynical and not willing to so much as smile at the cute guy who’s been trying to make eye contact when I got up to order because “screw love” pour me another cup of hot chocolate.

If she had given up on love, the world would understand, I would understand. She has not, she’s willing to give love another shot, the tenth shot. In that moment as we took down his number and sent her Mingle2 match, who is also divorced and looking for the one,a WhatsApp message, I decided I’m also getting on a dating site and giving love another shot, third time’s a charm right?

Comments

Purely Platonic:Just Friends

Can men and women just be friends? That is an apparently hard question to answer. Can two single, relatively attractive people of the opposite sex just be friends and nothing more? The answer to this question from my personal experience is I don't know, maybe? Word of caution, if you're interested in dating one of the two friends, look closely, very closely. Let me tell you a story to illustrate my point. Once upon a time on a university campus in Windhoek there was a girl who met a guy. The girl and guy somehow became friends, the girl doesn't remember how. They were both involved in campus ministry, they saw each other most days of the week and they both went to the same non-denominational bible study in the park on Saturdays. They called and texted each other all the time, the girl liked they guy very much and suspected that the guy liked her too. However they guy never made a move and soon the girl grew disillusioned, maybe the guy didn't like her like that

Rejection Slips

I love my rejection slips. I am going to print and put them on a notice board in my room when I finally get around to making my writing corner a reality. I imagine, they'll inspire me to pour my heart out and try again, because failure is not trying. I got a rejection slip today, an email from an online magazine I really want to be published in. It hurt more than the others, it hurt because I really, really really wanted this and I poured my heart and soul into the article I submitted. It hurts, that's what I want to get across is, the " we regret to inform you that we eventually decided against publishing it as we do not think it is suitable for our platform at this time " that, that was an arrow through my heart. What does that even mean? I've poured over the magazine, I've read every article that caught my eye, I was guided by what was published. The article I submitted was a result of the feelings some one the articles evoked in me. So tell me, wha

Fear of intimacy or what's really wrong with me or why you shouldn't be in love with me

I spent this morning thinking about all the people I can't seem to let go of. The ones I need to cut off, people I no longer speak to on a regular basis but am still hung up on and that one guy I've reconciled that I'll always love. My soul is like a graveyard of dead relationships, people long gone. I spent the better part of this evening looking a pictures of an almost love, figured it's time to burn this bridge but I can't, I feel physically ill now. I'm nauseous, my chest hurts, I can't seem to let go off the skeletons of what could've been. I keep thinking, I don't want it, not in this form, certainly not any time soon, still I'm incapable of thoughts of closure. The Script's good in goodbye reduces me to tears every single time I get in my feelings. No matter how it falls apart There's an "art" in breaking hearts But there's no fair in farewell I haven't learned how to let go yet, so I'm goin

Unfiltered Thoughts

Search This Blog