Skip to main content

Swim in Heartbreak and Drown in Agony/Projections from my soul



Dying,

Starving 

Affection cannot survive on empty promises and sweet nothings 

I drown my pillow in tears as I swim in heartbreak and drown in agony


The fog will fade

Once I figure you out I’ll see you are just a projection of the greatness I buried under the rubble of self doubt and insecurities 

Too afraid to see, I project from soul onto you


You look like the stuff of legends

They would sing the ballads I wrote about you and recite all the sonnets, if they saw you with my eyes

When the haze clears, I know I’ll be looking in the mirror 


The veil is torn

The smoke screen is lifting 

Turn off the fog machine 

The only extraordinary things about you are all the virtues I granted in my imaginings


A pretty little face and only a little bright

I should edit the gospels before they spread

Decry, dethrone and destroy the idols I built in your image


Just a lost boy seeking his mommy’s love

A little kid playing pretend 

Dripping insecurity

Wrapped in loneliness 

Seeking solace in my arms

Stealing my warmth, leaving me freezing 


The spell wears off

I can see better today than I did yesterday 

Malnourished  love, bread crumbing the delusion, it died

It was all in my head

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Rejection Slips

  I love my rejection slips. I am going to print  and put them on a notice board in my room when I finally get around to  making my writing corner a reality. I imagine, they'll inspire me to pour my heart out and try again, because failure is not trying.  I got a rejection slip today, an email from an online magazine I really want to be published in. It hurt more than the others, it hurt because I really, really really wanted this and I poured my heart and soul into the article I submitted. It hurts, that's what I want to get across is, the " we regret to inform you that we eventually decided against publishing it as we do not think it is suitable for our platform at this time " that, that was an arrow through my heart. What does that even mean? I've poured over the magazine, I've read every article that caught my eye, I was guided by what was published. The article I submitted was a result of the feelings some one the articles evoked in me.   So tell me, ...

Skinned Knees and Broken Hearts: Why I Love Roses

Josephine asked if I’d rather have broken bones or a broken heart , I said neither, really now, next question please. If I could, I’d avoid any and all pain, I’m not a masochist.  A broken heart is not new to me, even before I understood hurt; my heart was already in pieces. Along with skinned knees and that one time a car ran over my foot, I've always known pain. That's the legacy of an alcoholic father and an absent mother; you grow up way too fast. I was stealing flowers from my doctor's practice when a car ran over my foot. Every day on our way back home from school, kids  ran into the yard and plucked roses from the rosebush and ran off. For months I watched them, thinking about how juvenile they were acting, why couldn't they just go in and ask? One particular day, for no apparent reason, on a whim, I decided I wanted a white rose. I plucked up the courage and ran into the yard, plucked a rose, as I was running out of the yard, I collided with a sedan in the ...

You should marry her instead

I won't do the dishes, I'll leave them in the sink for 2 days. You'll get sick of them and do them yourself. I won't pick up after myself and I only do the laundry when I have nothing else to wear.  I do not cook. I'll grab an apple and make a pot of tea if I'm hungry, you cook. She cooks and cleans and makes the bed every morning. You should marry her instead, she makes a better wife. I'm anti social, temperamental and sometimes just bitchy. Your friends will love me but I'll be in the bedroom when they come to visit. She's social and a very good host. She's the better choice. I'll frustrate and irritate you needlessly, I'll work on your nerves and I won't even know it. I'll be sorry for a little while then I'll forget. I'm self absorbed and very selfish. I'll think about me before you. I won't pause the movie when you use the loo and I'll continue to watch the series without you when you're at w...