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Can You See Me?

Can you see me or are you too wrapped up in your head? Can you hear me? You like the sound of your voice, a bit too much, I think. Are you blind?  Or maybe you just don't give a shit? I'm right here, in front of you. Why can't you see me? Why does talking to you feel like shouting into the void? You're so frustrating!

I'm not my disease, it's a part of who I am  but for fuck's sake, there's a  lot more to me that just this fucking mental illness! Why can't you see that? As a whole, I'm more than just the fucking sum of my parts! You don't label cancer patients cancerous, why do you define me by my depression?  I am a work of art, a fucking masterpiece, why can't you see that?

I wish you'd take off those rose tinted glasses and take a fucking good look at me. I'm not your ex, she left, I'm here. Why can't you see that I AM HERE. She's gone, let her go!

You make such a big deal about how I can't trust you, how you're not like the arseholes in my past, how I should stop punishing you for someone else's crimes. And yet, you're worse than I am. At least I am aware that my trust issues stem from fuck boys that fucked me over. You! You can't see how I am still paying for your ex's sins. If she was so perfect, why'd you let her go? And I know how that sounds, I know any self respecting woman would have packed up and left by now, trust me, I think about leaving you all the time. The thing is I'm so in love with you, I can't see straight. And I am a fool for love.

You can't take credit for my work! You can be proud of me but you need to fuck off and let me glory in my accomplishments. You can be such a conceited little cunt sometimes. The same goes for my struggles, you can support me, even lend a helping hand but in the name off all things hashtags, stop making my troubles yours. If you'd understand me, maybe you'd know how condescending that is.

I wonder, is this how the rest of our lives are going to be, me trying to get your attention, you never seeing me. You trying to make me into someone else, me trying and hating myself for trying to be who you want me to be. I cannot live like this, I love you but I choose me.

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