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New Year's Kiss

The last time I wanted to kiss someone was this second, I'm dying to feel your lips on mine. True Story.


 The second last time I wanted to kiss a guy, was three weeks ago. I was on holiday in Durban. His name is Jordan, we were staying at the same B&B. His room was right  across mine. I spent the day with him, his stepsister and her friends lounging by the pool. He had gone with me to a salsa social   earlier that night and to his credit, he danced very well. Albeit it was not salsa, we danced. He twisted and turned me across the dance floor half the night and the other half he listened to me talk for hours. I talked, a lot, I talk a lot.

It's 2 am, we are saying good night,  standing outside my door and he leans in. I'm thinking it's a hug, so I go in for a hug. At the very last second I realize he was going to kiss me. He's 18, a whole decade younger than me, I swear I didn't think he wanted to kiss me! Regardless of what my friend Dante kept urging me to do, I didn't go on holiday to have a fling, so I buried my head in his neck, embarrassed because in that moment, I wanted to kiss him too. He was hot, I didn't mind robbing the cradle.

I saw him again the next afternoon and in the evening, he watched me fight water, I was trying to learn how to swim. It was nice. No kissing.

Ever since I crossed off kissing someone I love at midnight on new year's off of my bucket list a few years ago, the dawn of every new year has haunted me. It's the one thing I miss the most about being in a relationship. I'm weird that way.

It's new years eve and at midnight I may kiss a stranger or if a "'special someone" comes out with us tonight, it will definitely be him. I just never thought something as simple as a new year's eve kiss with someone I LURV would ever be a big deal, it's so arbitrary. But it is what it is and I know it won't happen this coming year, fingers crossed for the next one.

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